I. Recap

Whatup and welcome to the blog....evidently these things are the way to do it, so...uh....that's how we're going to do it from now on.

I'm the fuhgina who writes these football emails, but I thought we should begin this new era with a quick recap of the principle parties involved: (idiotspeak: I want to describe the guys that also root for random EPL teams that we have no real connection with)...

(Note: Person's name, followed by their EPL club- and random notes..)

Santa's Helper, Aston Villa- This club was coming on strong before the new year; as of late they've been faltering. Santa's Helper has been a strong supporter through the club's highs and lows.

R. Dot Face, Blackburn- A dirty team for a dirty guy. The Rovers are the most evil and potentially career-threatening club to play against. I'm R. Dot Face and I approved this message.

Chet, Chelsea- A winning team for the prom queen of this group. Chet's club is only 6 points behind Man United for the premiership lead as of today. That does not make Chet happy, and when Chet's not happy employees at yacht clubs everywhere suffer.

Big Bird, Liverpool- My squad is rounding into form as of late- winner's of 5 of their last 6 premiership matches. Also, they have a kickass fight song, sung before and after every match, that was once featured in a Pink Floyd song. Anyone who has ever relaxed knows that that's cool.

The General, Man City- Manchester City was claimed by my roomate, who has always shown an affinity for men. He's the kind of *guy* who would go to a Turkish bath rather than a "asian massage parlor."

SweaterVest, Man United- A fairweather fan, the SweaterVest is [this] close to being deprived of EPL noteworthiness. The sole reason I include him here is due to his preponderous neck and chest hair growth; thus the name SweaterVest.

Ted, Newcastle- A late addition to this non-lovable band of total losers. Ted is the ONLY person with any semblance of a football background; he is now gainfully employed teaching football to mexican americans AKA he is the soccer coach at a high school in CT.

John Q, West Ham- Much like the title character of the movie 'John Q', this cat is close to the edge and he will not hesitate to take some innocents with him= If the season ended today he would be relegated, along with his club.


Now that everyone knows their role, let's look at some of the more intriguing stories from the EPL season so far......but first a movie review....